Back in October I weighed about 40 pounds more than what I weigh currently. My trainer seemed to love the stairs, but for the life of me I couldn’t master them because my knees would just bawk in the most painful utterances you could imagine (okay…I could imagine – you know, like they called me names and cussed me out). Anyways, we stopped doing stairs and moved onto other things (like boxing!).

I had been itching to get something else incorporated into my routine, but tweaking my knee held me back a week. So today (the day after I did 19.4 mile in spin class) I took to the flight of stairs at back entrance of the gym. I jogged up once, then down, then back up. I did this four times. Took about a 45 second break, did the routine four more times. Took another break, and again four more times. I was pretty freaking proud of myself. Seriously, four months ago – only four – I couldn’t bounce up those stairs. And tonight, girlfriend here bounced!

My second little NSV came through a private messaging session with someone on Facebook. We were working out some details about a thing next week, and I mentioned I decided to do the Oak Apple 10k Run on June 2nd. I asked if they had any pointers for someone like me new to running (I am planning to get to Hansons to get fitted for runners within the next week). I was completely thrilled at the reply which included, “Count me in for the 10k!”. I felt like a rock star. I know, it’s silly. Understand, a year ago…I couldn’t get into a booth and I didn’t exactly have a line of people who wanted to hang out with the fat lady. Now…dude! Rock star! I have no idea how this will work, all I know is it’s six measly miles. I do five on the elliptical most days and almost twenty in spin twice a week. I already feel like a rock star! So..bring. It. ON!

Finally, the third and final NSV (which left me freezing my butt off outside for almost half an hour tonight) came through bumping into my neighbor when I got home after the gym. I got checked out, head to toe to head to toe again. He said, “What are you doing, chisling it off? Look at you, skinny!” Aaaand we spent the next 25 minutes flirting. Which really sucks because although he’s gainfully employed, owns his own house and car, he drinks too much. Setting that aside, it was absolutely THRILLING to be called all but hot. He commented on my face, my neck, kept pointing at my legs.

Yes, total Gloat Post…and I loved every minute of it!

1. If you pee, wash your hands with soap AND water. The fact I even have to put this in print is disgusting. However, tonight I was at the sink after I peed and vigorously washed my hands (anyone who’s seen my dry, cracked knuckles knows I’m a teensy weensy bit OCD about this). A staff member from the gym peed, pretended to squirt soap on her hand, turned on the faucet, ran her fingers under the water, dove for the paper towel dispenser (I swear she did), then left. That took all of ten seconds. I washed my hands for 30 (in case you were wondering). 

2. Do your “ohmygoshigottalookcute” routine at home. Really. Nobody…and I do mean no-baw-dee…cares what you look like, how your make-up is, how big of a latte you got; nor do we desire to be suffocated in the locker room because you found it insanely necessary to share an entire bottle of hairspray with the girls…

…like it was Ultra Klutch. 

3. Scrub the machine as if you were going to claim it for your own. In other words, like you were going to lick the handles. 

4. If your gym has a no cell phone rule…follow it. I realize this is up for debate because some can carry on conversations and text like there’s no tomorrow as they’re running for their lives or climbing a mechanical Mount Kilimanjaro. However, check out the people who don’t know how to do either…they’re disruptive (loud) and they practically stop what they’re doing. Personally, I don’t text while on a machine because my coordination is in question. Just for the record…there is such as thing as cell phone karma. 

5. Park in between the lines. There’s a reason the parking spaces are marked in white, yellow, and or some other bright color. So you’ll park properly. It’s like coloring, but with consequences. If your the dipwad who parks two inches away from my truck like you did tonight, you deserve to get your door biffed. Just sayin’. 

My spinach lasagna could be heated in the oven or the microwave. The boilers are on full-cook-me-in-my-flat heat mode, therefore I decided the oven wasn’t going to be an option. I’d have all the windows open in a heartbeat and my head would have been stuck in the freezer. I stuck it in the microwave for about 15 minutes and proceeded to finish cleaning the kitchen.

I got excited over the aroma. It smelled like lasagna. After the microwave dinged, I let it sit for a few minutes (per the instructions), took it out and transferred it to a bowl. The disappointment began to set in when I noticed the only cheese on this little concoction was what melted (crusted) to the top. It didn’t even string. The spinach mix was watery, the pasta was blah. No sauce. Lack of cheese. Tasted…bland.

I gave serious thought to driving my bowl over to TJ’s and asking for my money back. Truly a disappointing experience. Think next time I’m in the mood for lasagna I’m going to raid the Bariatric Foodie blog.

Toodles.

I posted the picture which will appear at the end of this blog (no peeking) on a forum I lurk on for those who have had or are considering some form of weight loss surgery. It was in response to a thread about a picture that has been floating around Facebook that “promotes a more realistic view of body imagery” (that’s a quote – thank you N.M.!). I think the picture promotes a view of body imagery from the male photographer’s perspective, or the magazine exec’s, or the editors.

That warped perspective is plastered on every single magazine cover found in the check-out lane at the grocery store, on T.V., on radio. It’s caused significant damage to our self-esteem, and far greater damage to teenagers and young women who feel they have to live up to this stuff….they can’t enjoy life because they’re too busy trying to have the perfect body.

News flash: no body is perfect, and real women don’t look like that.

Anyway, in the thread discussion someone had mentioned they were tempted to take a picture of themselves in a tank top and underwear, but weren’t that brave. I have NO idea what came over me. Emblazoned permanently in cyberspace for like….EVER…. I had responded with: “I’ll do it! I’ll do it tonight after the gym.”

You’re thinking, “Is she inSANE?”

Maybe.

A little impulsive. But you know, real women aren’t airbrushed. Hair…uh-uh. Never looks that good without the aid of a professional (or a great wig). Also, I see real women all the time in the gym – in all shapes, sizes, colors, and clothes – they work their butts off.

So this is the real me. A real sixteen. In my tank top, next to my unmade bed,  and…uh…in my underwear.

“It’s a small world after all…” 

Sorry.

My schedule as of late has proven to be a challenge. Actually, what has been the challenge is to get what I need to get done and get where I need to be by 7:00p.m. Like tonight, for instance. I didn’t get out of the gym until just before 7:00. By the time I got home and showered (before you ask: no, I will not shower at the gym) the clocked had ticked its way to 7:30. If I had gotten dressed and flown out the door, I would have arrived where I was supposed to be after 8:00. It ends at 9:00, I would have gotten home at 9:30. This entire thought produced a mild panic attack. Therefore, I put on my sleep shirt, a pair of shorts and washed my lunch dishes.

I think that would be my only complaint about going to the gym after work. I, in all honesty, cannot comfortably call it a complaint. For the moment, it’s the way things need to be. Mondays and Tuesdays seem to be the days where I feel pressed for time. And for those of you who know a little of what’s up on a personal level, I do not desire to feel pressed at all. For me it’s the same as being suffocated, as if the air has slowly been sucked out of the room.
Sleep has been difficult for the past couple of weeks, even with the Ambien. I’m waking up in the middle of the night (interrupted sleep), lately I’ve woken up practically daily around 4:00a.m. for some insane reason. The sleep problem has most likely added to the whole panic attack thing I mentioned earlier…which also might be an indicator I need my meds adjusted. I already have an appointment to meet with my doctor next Friday for a follow up to something else. We are going to have a chat!

On another note, I can’t believe next week will be nine months. I’ve lost 120 pounds thus far. I’m about half the person I was inch wise (a year ago I wore a 32 in pants). I own boxing gloves and bright green sneakers. I now wear a large t-shirt as compared to the 4X’s I wore last year at this time. I am about to do something daring to my hair (you’ll have to wait to see…if it comes out bad I’m not showing you). The driver’s seat in my vehicle is closer to the steering wheel than it’s ever been. I no longer eat ice cream (pick yourselves off the floor). I went from having to be put on high blood pressure medication to 110/60. How cool am I?

I still don’t recognize the woman in who looks back at me every day. I’ve been assured this will change eventually. In the meantime I’m just taking things day by day.

Oh, apparently I did have an Ambien moment. I woke up this morning to find half a tiny bottle of Diet Pepsi on my nightstand next to a cheese stick wrapper.

I remember nothing.

Toodles.

We became instant friends.

We know each other’s stories fairly well. Jill loves Kiss and The Reverend Horton Heat (two completely different sounds on a music spectrum). She used to only wear flip flops. Her husband owns a tattoo shop in Escondido (shameless plug, click here). She owns a bookkeeping and tax preparation business (second shameless plug, click here), as well as two dogs, a bird and a hedgehog.

Over the past eight and a half months, Jill and I have spent a tremendous amount of time on the phone. We both made a decision to change our lives, and we discuss it practically daily because we’re not in the same state anymore. I thought Jill’s weight loss story would make for a great blog and she obliged me. I should make it clear: we both started our weight loss journeys in May, different things propelled us to make our decisions (i.e. I opted to do weight loss surgery – which doesn’t make one magically thin). However, we both have literally worked our asses off. Here’s Jill’s words:

What led you to decide to lose weight?

I got on the scale and it said 375. I got on the scale 5 freaking times and it still said 375. That number scared the (blank) out of me. I was 27 and 375 lbs. My husband is 6’6″ and weighed 400 lbs, how the hell did I only weigh 25 lbs less than him? That is soooo not the way this is supposed to work! And more than that… I knew that if I kept going that way I’d be dead before I hit 40, I didn’t want to die. I mean I know we all got to, but didn’t want to die because I let myself get to damn fat.

What did you do when you started going to the gym?

When I started going to the gym, I could barely walk without being out of breath and miserable. I would walk maybe 10 minutes on the treadmill at a speed of 2.0 and then do maybe 15 minutes on the exercise bike. After that, if I felt up to it I would lift weights. I usually did seated dips (20 lbs, 3 sets of 10), tricep extensions (15 lbs, 3 sets of 10), seated rows (10 lbs, 3 sets of 10), lat pulldowns (20 lbs, 3 sets of 10), chest press (25 lbs, 3 sets of 10), and leg press (50 lbs, 3 sets of 25).

What do you do at the gym now?

I do the elliptical for an hour (burning between 1500 and 2000 calories), then I will either do the stair machine for 30 minutes, or run on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I usually rotate the stair machine and the treadmill. After I’m done with cardio I do situps. I use one of the bosu balls, and I’ll do at least 250 situps a day (sometimes as much as 500). When I’m done with my situps, I move on to weights. I do both leg and arm weights every day, my trainer HATES me for it, but it works for me so thats what I do. I do Bicep curls (20 lb free weights, 3 sets of 15), seated dips (100 lbs, 3 sets of 15), tricep extensions (75 lbs, 3 sets of 15), seated rows (50 lbs, 3 sets of 15), lat pulldowns (90 lbs, 3 sets of 15), chest press (105 lbs, 3 sets of 15), shoulder press (50 lbs, 3 sets of 15), pull ups (using the machine that helps you, I put the counter weight at 100 and do 3 sets of 15), leg press (250 lbs, 4 sets of 25), squats on a bosu ball (I usually do this with 15 lb weights in each hand and do bicep curls while I am doing squats. I do 4 sets of 25), and push ups on the bosu ball (flat side up, 4 sets of 10). There are other exercises I do, but for the life of me I dont know what they are called. I’ll try and explain them as best as I can… One of them I will sit on a bench, put my hands right next to my butt, then slide my butt off the bench, keep my legs straight and dip down until my elbows make an L and go back up. I think its pretty close to the seated dip, but man it burns those triceps. I’ll do 4 sets of 25. On another one of them I stand up, back straight, bring my elbows to my sides and using one of their free motion weight machines I pull down until my arms are straight, then go back to them being at a 90 degree angle. I’ll do 3 sets of 15 of those. There is more… but I could sit here all day going on and on. That is the bulk of it.

What’s a typical day of eating look like? 

Breakfast 8 a.m.= 1 cup of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal or 1 packet of instant oatmeal or a Nutri-Grain bar AND protein.

Snack 10 a.m. = if I get hungry between breakfast and lunch I’ll grab and handful (like 10) plain almonds, or a piece of fruit

Lunch Noonish = 3 days a week I do just fruit. So maybe 1/2 a bananna, 1/2 an orange, a kiwi, couple strawberries and some lemon (i LOVE lemons). The other days, I’ll do either 1/2 of a boneless skinless chicken breast and veggies, sometimes 1/2 of a turkey sandwich on wheat bread, and sometimes Healthy Choice soup.

Snack 3 p.m. = cheezits with cream cheese and sliced jalapenos (12 cheezits no more, no less), or a handful of almonds, or a piece of fruit AND protein.

Dinner between 6 & 7 = Grilled boneless skineless chicken and veggies, just veggies, turkey burgers (no bread!!!), turkey tacos (no fried shells), or really any one of a million other things. I just try to keep to Chicken, Turkey and Veggies. 

If I get hungry after dinner I’ll usually grab a sugar free popsicle, or 1/2 an apple.

I do the Optimum Nutrition Whey Protein – Vanilla Ice Cream Flavor. I do 1 1/2 scoops in the morning and 1 1/2 scoops in the afternoon. 

(We have a disagreement over Cheezits. I think they’re gross now.)

I don’t spend nearly as much time in the gym as Jill does (she reminds me she doesn’t have bad knees). We each had a different approach, each with the same results: rapid weight loss. Jill started her journey at 375. Today she’s at 193.5. That’s a total weight loss of 181 pounds in eight and a half months (I’m seriously jealous and tell her so. Her response is always the same: “Dude…you’re taller than me.”).

Making a lifestyle change is always difficult and requires an incredible commitment. Those who have never struggled with obesity (which is different than carrying around an extra 30 pounds) do not understand the things we as fat persons have dealt with throughout our lives. Jill and I talk about that very topic often, and recently we’ve talked about looking in the mirror. Generally speaking, large weight loss is experienced over a span of years. The individual has time to adjust to the changes. With rapid weight loss, the changes are so quick the brain doesn’t have time to catch up. This is what Jill says about the mirror:

Most of the time I feel like I am looking at someone else. I think I see me as the fat girl in those pictures. It’s like my brain hasn’t caught on yet. Maybe disbelief is a better word.

Here are Jill’s before and after pictures. She looks amazing.

Physicians (no brainer). Water pots. Shrunken staffs (canes). Togas. Indestructible shoes. Food raining from the skies (no, Sony Animation didn’t think of it first). Fireproof clothing. Wood that floats.

Deodorant.

Seriously. Could you imagine what the stench must have been like for the poor shepherds who had to herd sheep in the desert, under the hot sun, in togas and turbans? What about the disciples? Bible says they washed their feet, I don’t remember anywhere it says they took a bath.

“John.”

“Yes, Peter.”

“Could you sit over there on that empty pillow at the table?”

“Is there a particular reason?”

“An odor emitteth.”

I arrived at the gym today just before 5. After I changed I eagerly climbed onto an elliptical, fumbled with an app on my phone, set the level thingy on the machine display and
proceeded to do my thing. Not even two minutes passed before I caught a waft of an odor.
While it hung out like Casper the Friendly Ghost, I scoped the mirrors to find out where it came from. Which really could have been anywhere, the ceiling fans did not help the situation at ALL. Whomever it was, they smelled like they were workin’ on the railroad…

…and warehouse…and freeway…and…

Enough about the stinky person.

I have gotten a little bored with my play lists I put together for my workouts. I love the music, but to have to listen to the same songs over and over is annoying (I have this same issue with the radio. Solution: Pandora, Slacker…). Yesterday I learned of an app where someone mixed a whole mess of music with beats as part of their podcast, and they update the play list every week. So I found it in iTunes, then discovered two things: 1) it’s an iPhone app and I do not own an iPhone. 2) To eliminate the 60 second business blip at the start of every song one must upgrade to Premium. I searched to see what that looked like. It’s not even available yet! Grrrr…

So I searched the Android Market and came across this free app called FIT Radio. Their website said, “FIT Radio puts fast-paced, club-inspired mixes at your fingertips, available on-demand. Whether you’re breaking a sweat at the gym, bored at the office, or busting moves with friends, FIT Radio enhances any occasion.”

Well, it was free. I figured if I didn’t like it I could always delete it.

This thing is the BOMB!

FIT Radio is a small music player which has genres (i.e. Top 40, Hip Hop, Rock, Indie Rock, Electronic Dance Music, Dubstep, Party, Indie Dance, Lounge, Open Format), and over twenty stations (i.e. iClub Radio, Back in the Day, House Sounds, Live from XS, Live from Opera, etc.). Small note: there are a couple of genres and stations which have the word “Explicit” in the description. Means the listener won’t get surprised by the station. I appreciated the heads up.

FIT Radio does have advertising. However, I only heard the one which said I was listening to FIT Radio. Major score there. In my opinion the most fantastical thing about FIT Radio is the music stream itself. Each song moved to the next flawlessly. I’m serious! No skips, jumps, long pauses, or cut-off endings. It was so great.

So if you have given thought to switching up your workout music, I highly recommend you
check out FIT Radio. It’s free and quite nifty.

(***No, I wasn’t paid to share my opinion…actually, they have no idea I am posting this. Hopefully they won’t be too offended Stinky Person appeared first***)

-Traci

The laundry mat was filled with hoarders.

I got to read half an issue of Time on my nook. Really. I’ve blurted this out before: it’s interactive. For someone who has a teeny tiny addiction to electronics….it’s AWESOME! I check news junk online throughout the day or week, but Time I read cover to cover. Makes my laundry days less boring. And I don’t glare at the guy who decided to shove my stuff over on the table to fold his boxers (uh…EEW!).

After folding my boxers (kidding) I trollopped over to Meijer on 14 Mile Road. There’s a reason I don’t shop at Meijer on 14 Mile Road. It was freaking packed and full of rude people. Rather than say “Excuse me” to  shopping cart clusters of customers fighting over a jar of peanut butter like two top models would fight over a candy bar (joking!), people would just stand in the way…staring. As if sheer will were enough to shove all of the obstacles out of the way. I wasn’t having any of it. I was on a mission, and some dude was in the way of my almonds – he looked like his puppy got kidnapped. I politely said “Excuse me”, he dramatically picks up the cart an moves it over, I politely say “Thank yoooou”. I think he attempted to bore holes into the back of my head with his imaginary laser beam eyes because I made it through the peanut-butter-fighting-shopping-cart-people-cluster.

Well, nobody was fighting over peanut butter. I said that for dramatic effect.

I got home and started to unload my treasure trove of goodies and clean socks. Armed with six or seven bags and a relatively heavy purse, I tromp up the stairs, push the little screen door open and step onto my porch (it’s more like a super big mud room). Over to the right I noticed two bags of clothes I had sitting there were disturbed. One had fallen off the other  with obvious signs of rodent tampering. The other was tipped over and had this gaping hole  that had been torn in it, there were black plastic pieces of the bags all over the floor.

Next the bag moved, I screamed and an overly-nourished grey squirrel bolted out from between a pair of pants and flannel pajama bottoms which were in the bag, ran into my leg and slammed himself into the corner of the screen door. Kid you not, head first. His little arms splayed out from the force of the impact – like something out of a cartoon: splat! Then he ran through the opening, zipped down about seven stars and sat there. Staring at me. He drummed his little claws together like he was pondering the next move, but his little black beady eyes silently dared me to drop the groceries and give chase.

I tried to shoo him off the stares, but all he did was glare at me.

Prior to my having weight loss surgery I was told my taste buds might change. They have a little: I can only eat one brand of cottage cheese (Daisy), all the others I used to like I now can’t stand the taste, let alone the texture. Sour cream is  a definate no-go. Not a big fan of mangos. Don’t dig strawberries. I used to detest cantelope, but it’s become a little more tolerable. Still hate lemons, and onions are now viler than they were prior to surgery. I’ve become a touch sensitive to tart (or sour) foods. I absolutely love almonds (I have a snack basket with tons of little almond packs) and peanut butter (I have a second snack basket full of nothing but Jif-To-Go cups). Still love tomato, cucumbers and feta. I like Greek yogurt if it’s got stuff in it.

Usually I get Chobani. I loved it so much I at one point sent an email through their web site saying why I loved it and how it worked for my new way of eating (I received a hand written thank-you card in the mail, accompanied by several coupons and a nifty little magnet). Every now and then I’ll pick up different yogurts. Last week I picked up Fage Greek yogurt. They have a little pocket on the side filled with fruit, that one scoops out and mixes into the yogurt (that’s after one gets spit upon by removal of the little foil lid which is fused onto the container). Really talented people manage to get it on their desk while mixing (cough, cough). Blueberry is my favorite.

I really should have stuck to the blueberry.

“Honey” was the flavor today. First of all let me just say whomever though to put honey in that stupid side pocket ought to be slapped. Seriously…have you ever scooped cold honey? It’s like the consistency of Play Dough (without that smell). Then trying to mix it into a pile of cold yogurt. Oh. Em. Gee. Wally. It hardens right up. So there I am trying to mix this hardened glob of honey into a teeny tiny area of yogurt.

Yep. Got it all over the place.

When I finally managed to get half of it mixed together I almost threw up because of the taste. I can’t even describe it. It was just…just…awful.

If I had just stuck with Chobani…I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

Oh…I’m eight months out. 113 down. And today the doctor looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said, “You already look like a thin person.”

-Traci